After a gig in New Haven, Dan Soder, Sam Morrill, Mark Normand, and Matt Ruby take a train back to the city and drink whiskey out of a paper bag while cops in bulletproof vests stand nearby. Topics covered: performing at The Cellar, some of our favorite bits ever, Bukowski, Patrice, and more.

Three Jews with beards share a car ride up to Boston and talk about fame, comedy, girls, and more.

It's almost 8pm. And comedians Jessie Geller and Myka Fox are almost drunk. And we wind up talking about orgasms and the different, um, requirements that each of these ladies has for reaching the promised land.

Drunk comedians talk about when to touch the hips, what girls want, and how to flirt. Featuring Tom Sibley, Kara Klenk, Jared Logan, Laura Prangley, Selena Coppock, Jason Burke, and me. (It's Matt Ruby. You know that, right?) Choice quotes: "If you touch a girl on the hips, I think that's an instant sign you're going to fuck later." "It's a numbers game. Touch the hips of as many girls as possible and see which ones like it." "If a guy were to come up to you and put your hands on your hips, that's offensive." "I don't know what this is for, but I give good head." Who said what? Listen up.

Patrice O'Neal discusses cheating, monogamy, commitment, threeways, his relationship with his mom, gender roles, harems, the pros and cons of pimping, how to keep relationships fresh, and more. He says, "When people listen to this shit, I'm going to be an asshole to most people. But I'm not saying anything that's wrong. The truth hurts."